Growing Self Esteem In Our Child
Children Become Who We Believe They Are: The Power of Seeing The Positives In Our Child
“Children are likely to live up to what we believe of them.” -LBJ
It’s a simple quote, yet it carries the weight of generations of parenting wisdom.
Here is something I know to be true: Our child’s self-image is shaped not only by what we say to them, but by what we believe about them. And in the world of conscious parenting, that belief isn’t just a nice idea—it’s a powerful tool for connection, confidence, self reflection, and growth.
Our Beliefs Become Their Inner Voice
Have you ever noticed how our child lights up when we say, “You’re such a kind helper”? Or how they shrink when they hear, “You never listen!” Words matter.
Children notice, feel and absorb our perceptions. Over time, our repeated beliefs—whether spoken out loud or quietly held, (our facial expressions, our body language, our voice and tone matter,) —becomes their inner voice.
When we believe our child is capable, kind, and resilient, they begin to see themselves that way too. Not because they’re perfect—but because they feel seen, significant, safe, and supported as they grow.
Conscious Parenting Starts With Awareness
Conscious parenting invites us to look inward before we react outward. It asks:
What am I believing about my child in this moment?
Am I viewing this behavior through a lens of unrealistic expectations, a lens of fear or a lens of trust?
What is my child really trying to communicate to me right now?
Let’s say our child is having a meltdown because we cut their sandwich the “wrong” way. (We’ve all been there!) You cut it in quarters and they wanted triangles. In that moment it’s easy to label them as difficult, fussy, demanding. What if we paused and remembered: My child is doing the best they can with the tools they have at this time. My child wants what they want and doesn’t know a better way, yet. This shift—from judgment to compassion—changes the entire interaction and how we respond. Our belief can become a bridge instead of a barrier. We become compassionate instead of angry. We become grounded and calm instead of triggered, frustrated and annoyed.
From Expectations to Empowerment
When we hold high expectations rooted in love and connection not pressure, we empower our child to rise to their potential. Conscious parenting doesn’t mean ignoring limits or boundaries. It means the opposite. It means holding boundaries with clarity and care—believing our child is capable of learning, especially through mistakes. Isn’t that how we all learn?
Instead of saying, “Why are you always so messy!?”, try:
🗣️ “I know you care about your things. Let’s figure out a system together.”
This simple shift tells our child: I believe you can handle this and we can do it together. You’re their partner, an ally, willing to work on it together.
What You Believe Matters
In a world filled with pressure to fix a child’s behavior, conscious parenting reminds us: Connection is the correction.
Your child isn’t asking you to be perfect. They’re asking you to see them clearly and to believe in who they are becoming. They are growing and changing, and we grow and change alongside them.
So today, ask yourself:
What do I truly believe about my child? And how can I reflect that belief in how I show up?
Because more often than not…
Children grow into the story we tell about them.
