Simple Questions To Build a Stronger Connection with Your Child

As a parent coach, here are five conversation starters that deepen connection, calm big feelings, and invite cooperation with curiosity, engagement, and bringing in joy.

If I could encapsulate the parent child relationship into one word, it’s connection. Between school events, meltdowns, and the mysterious disappearance of absolute, can’t wear any other favorite socks, finding time to truly connect can feel impossible. Yet connection is the bridge that makes everything else in parenting happen, including listening, cooperation, and mutual respect, flow more easily.

The good news: you don’t need hours of deep conversation or elaborate activities to build connection. Sometimes, connection starts with the right questions. Here are five positive parenting simple questions you can start asking today, to strengthen your parent child connection and invite more conversation, openness, dialogue, communication, joy, trust, and understanding, into your relationship.

1. “What was the best or hardest part of your day?”

This one’s a classic—but with a twist. Instead of “How was your day?” (which usually earns a “fine”), this question invites your child to reflect and share emotionally meaningful moments.
Try following up with gentle curiosity: “What made it the best?” or “That sounds tricky—what helped you through it?” You’re showing your child that their inner world matters as much as their outer one. It shows that their thoughts and feelings matter to you.

2. “Do you want a hug, help, or space right now?”

When big feelings show up—anger, sadness, frustration—children often don’t know how to ask for what they need. Younger children might not know what they need. Asking if they’d like a hug opens up an opportunity for a warm embrace and shows compassion, connection, and empathy, which helps children feel seen and understood. This question gives them a simple, concrete opportunity to go within to build awareness and communication.
It also teaches them that emotions don’t need to be scary or fixed right away. Sometimes, connection begins with respecting what they need most in that moment—whether that’s closeness, comfort, or quiet time to think.

3. “Was there something you did to help someone today?”

Giving our child time for reflection, pondering how they were, or can be helpful to others, sparks awareness. Empathy, kindness, and attunement turn on. It encourages our child to notice the impact they have on others, even in small ways—sharing a toy, comforting a friend, helping a teacher or helping at home.
You might follow up with, “How did that make you feel?” so they connect helpful actions with the warm sense of pride and purpose that comes from caring and helping others.

4. “What’s something you’re proud of today?”

Celebrating effort and growth builds confidence far more effectively than constant praise. This question helps our child recognize their own strengths and progress.
You might share your own answer, too: “I’m proud that I stayed patient even when we were running late. Sometimes that’s really hard for me, and today I did it.” Modeling self-reflection and self awareness teaches our child that learning and trying is a lifelong process.

5. “What do you think you’re really good at?”

This question focuses on strengths and self-identity, encouraging your child to reflect on what makes them unique. By talking about their talents, big or small, you’re helping them see themselves in a positive light—and reinforcing that you notice and value who they are.This question reaches many ages, values, skills and talents. It helps children feel seen for who they are, not just what they do. Listening without interruption or correction and validating what they say reassures them that your love isn’t conditional on behavior or achievement.

Bringing It All Together

Parental connection isn’t about having perfect answers—it’s about asking better questions. Each of these prompts invites presence and connection. They remind our child: You matter to me, exactly as you are and you are loved and appreciated, just as you are.

If you want to explore more ways to strengthen connection and communication, Growing Change Parent Coaching offers personalized coaching to help you bring calmness, awareness, confidence, and cooperation into your home. When connection comes first, everything else starts to fall into place. Parent coaching will help you bring it all together.