Are screen time battles ruining your homelife and your relationship with your child?

Here are some things we know to be true: The world has dramatically changed, devices control our lives, our parents never had to face the stress of screen devices, and we feel unknowing in how to parent through these changes.

Another thing I know to be true is that children’s needs have not changed.

Children still need consistency, connection, calmness, predictability, structure, routine, and clear limits and boundaries. This is where Conscious Parenting comes in.

How does Conscious Parenting help during this time of screen life dependency?

Conscious parenting has us think and look within to see how we are responding and to notice how and why we feel so triggered.

Do you feel unempowered, ignored or disrespected when your child is plugged in to a device?

Do you lose your cool and yell?

Does your child ignore you until you scream?

Or maybe you tell them to shut it repeatedly and eventually cave in and let them stay on their device longer?

It all matters.

Children thrive with predictability. They thrive when they know what to expect because we’ve been consistent and follow through. When they know screen time ends in 30 minutes or an hour, they accept the boundary with less resistance. They may not like the boundary and feel disappointed, but they lean in with trust and with better ability to self regulate their emotions and deal with it.

Managing our own Stress:

Often we believe our child’s behavior is causing our insurmountable stress. Our patience is threadbare. Their high energy and refusal to do things, their resistance and pushback and inability to take no for an answer is triggering. Actually our stress is often caused by our hectic, overwhelming lives. We work many hours, have a second and third shift at home, increased financial burdens, health consequences and we are heavily overscheduled, Our child tips us over the edge by not listening or responding the way we expect them to. We are modeling the same dysregulated behavior they are demonstrating. And this is what we are teaching.

Let’s be honest. Screens and devices are not going away. As parents we need to adapt and own our parenting and own the truth. We bought and gave them these devices. We know technology is a part of everyday life, and we gave these screen devices without any conversation, limit, boundary setting or expectation. We gave them the keys to the car and they they don’t have a license to drive. Whether it’s an Ipad, phone or gaming system, none of us received a handbook on how to raise children with smartphones, Youtube or gaming systems.

The good news is: Change is possible. It’s not too late to create limits and boundaries around screens. Healthy screen time habits can be instilled, taught and modeled. Screen time battles lessen when we are consistent and the routine is predictable.

Be the parent leader your child needs you to be:

Set an expectation and a limit before they watch Youtube, play a video game or use their phone and go on social media apps
Children benefit from knowing what to expect and benefit from a 10 minute and 5 minute warning .
Consistency is key. Whether the limit is 30 screen time minutes for little ones, or 1-2 hours for bigger kids. stick to the limit. This is where your parenting leadership comes in. Say what you mean, mean what you say.
Something needs to come in place of screen time. Whether they figure out something else to do on their own or you connect with them and engage in something they love, create an expectation here too. Their boredom isn’t your problem. Make a smoothie together. Create one on one time with them.
Model your own screen habits
With bigger kids, conscious, positive parenting includes having a discussion about screen time limits and what the expectations are. ‘How much screen time do you think is fair? Let’s work together and figure it out. What should I do when times up and you’re still on?”
Do you include chores and responsibilities or is there an open endedness to screens without any responsibilities around the house or school work?

Children still need connection before correction, and need real life experiences, not screen experiences. Children need us to take leadership and to teach them how to start and stop, how to unplug and play with toys, to play with friends in real time and how to cure boredom without a screen. They need their parent to not be afraid of disappointing or making them upset when screen time is over, and to own our parental authority that screen time comes with limits and with expectations too. Technology isn’t the enemy. The goal isn;t to eliminate screens. The goal is to raise children who know when to plug in, when to unplug, and how to thrive in both worlds.

Want personalized support? Schedule a free consultation with Growing Change Parent Coaching and discover how conscious parenting can transform everyday challenges into opportunities for connection.

A Modern Day Stressor: Screen Time