Your Child’s Boredom Isn’t Your Problem
Wondering how to handle summer boredom in kids? Learn how boredom can build creativity, resilience, and independence—and how you can respond without becoming their entertainment director.
School is out and routine and structure often take the summer off. Lazier days, slower mornings, staying up later, and heat and humidity can keep us indoors.
Your child comes to you for the third time before 10:00 am stating, “I’m bored.” Summertime boredom feels like a big problem you have to solve.
As parents we feel the need to swoop in and come up with solutions and answers. We plan activities, playdates, outings, suggest crafts and projects and things they can do. We may even suggest screen time. Pause before you suggest this one.
What if I told you that boredom isn’t a problem?
Yes, it can feel like it’s your problem to fix, but is it really? Are you the owner of your child’s imagination? Are you the fixer of all of your child’s dilemmas? If the answer is yes, then let’s talk about that together.
Boredom Can Be Good For Kids:
Believe me, I fully know and believe in the importance of routine, structure, predictability and boundaries. I also believe in kids being able to think, problem solve, come up with solutions, imagine, create and invent, especially if we let them. Yes, this might include them making a mess and learning how to clean up afterwards. Yes, you’ll likely have to help teach them how to clean up and clean up with them.
If we let our kids sit with the discomfort of being without a screen; all screens, for a portion of the day, and we let them sit with the feelings of boredom, transformation happens. We are giving them an opportunity to come up with new ideas and ways to turn boredom into action.
Sure, it’s great if you have the time and ability to plan outings and day trips. A trip to the beach and museums are fabulous, and waterparks are so much fun. If you are able to come up with fun ideas and can create a plethora of day trips and things to do, that’s great. Do you have to do this every day of the summer? What if there’s a rainy day at home or you need to do some other things for a half day? Now what? Are you your child’s social director and playmate?
When left to their own devices, kids have tremendous ideas. They love to create, build, take apart, and assemble. They love working with real tools, that’s right, real tools, and can be taught how to safely use them. Boredom can be a gateway to invention, creativity and independence. Pro tip- a tape dispenser is a tool too, and preschoolers and older kids love love love tape and tape dispensers.
Are you the Cruise Director? The Parent Trap:
Just hearing our child say, “I’m bored,” sets us into discomfort and problem solving mode:
Why don’t you ride your bike?
Maybe Jake wants to come over?
Build with your magnatiles or lego
“Yes, I’ll play grocery store with you.”
What’s your sister doing? Go play with her.
When we constantly come up with suggestions and ideas, what does this teach your child? What do they take away from it? Likely that you are the ideas person and you are responsible for their entertainment, leaving them dependent on you for their ways to keep busy.
“Play is the work of the child.” - Maria Montessori
Like I said, boredom isn’t your problem to fix, but you can offer suggestions. “Do you want to bring your Legos to the kitchen while I prepare lunch or work on them in your room?” You’re giving them the opportunity to choose.
Play doesn’t have to be filled with elaborate ideas. It helps when play is child self led, self determined, open ended and organic. Pinterest has limitless great ideas, and so do your kids. Children thrive with repetition, consistency and predictability. They love going to the same beach over and over. They love the same pool, the same playground, pizza place, the same scooter ride to the same ice cream shop. Kids love familiarity and consistency. We think we need to change it up more than we actually do. Repeating something over and over, like going to the same vacation spot as a family for years, creates a feeling of tradition, and allows for more freedom. They get a sense of where they are and know the land well and love what it gives. Our three kids loved going to the same house rental in Cape Cod, going to their favorite beaches and pond over and over, their favorite restaurants. It never gets boring, old or monotonous. It actually does the opposite. It gets better and better,
What if the I’m bored song keeps playing on repeat?
Here’s what you can do:
I know how maddening it can feel. And again, it doesn’t have to be your problem. Staying calm though is.
“I know you’re bored. I also know you’ll figure it out. I know you’ll come up with something fun and surprise me.” They need to hear this. They need to know you believe in them and in their ability to figure things out. I remember my seven year old nephew and his friend spending an entire summer digging a gigantic hole out in the woods near their home. Nothing more than daily digging, wellies on and shovels in hand, with a mission- to keep digging the deepest hole they could. It lasted all summer long in every weather.
Setting them up for success really helps. This includes allowing a manageable amount of toys be around the house. Legos in a basket on the kitchen table or paper and paint sticks or markers. Magnatiles in the living room or small figures and vehicles in your office. Not much more is needed. Kids benefit from daydreaming, thinking, tinkering, listening to music and audiobooks. Kids benefit from collecting bugs and beautiful things in nature. Kids benefit from saving their legos from yesterday and adding more to it today. Kids benefit from complaining about boredom and doing something about it. If we let them. It builds resilience, emotional regulation, fosters independence and allows for problem solving and creative thinking. Isn’t this what we want for our kids?
